walalungs.

Wala lang.

First Love

Do you still remember your first love?

I do.

Let me share the story of my First Love :)

This feeling started when I was still in my 5th grade, elementary days.

I am the nerdy, ugly-duckling student who believes in love at first sight.

I believe in fantasies, in magic, in love.

I don't even know how to primp myself. I don't even comb my hair. I don't even put makeup or powder

or put on colognes where girls my age usually does.

I'm just happy staying in my world... the solemn, blissful world of the library.

Nerdy.

Sweet Valley High, Jane Austen's, Goosebumps, In the ear and out the other..some of my favorites.

Oh, even the encyclopedia too. 

My mom decided to have me drive-and-fetch via a school bus since my yaya left us already.

My parents then were busy with their work so they won't be able to drive me to school.

And so, that is where I met him.

It was awkward at first.

Back then, I was a late bloomer. 

I had an imaginary friend with me. No kidding. I'm dead serious.

Well, he caught me talking to my friend one day when we were alone at our school bus.

"Who are you talking with??!"

"Err, nothing..."

"You're weird!"

Geez.

And that's when my friend left me. I'm normal now. Back to reality.

Yeah, that was pretty weird for me.

But, he talked to me..he dared.

He dared talked to one of the major class nerd in 5th grade.

He's the class president in one of the sections of our batch. 

Good looking, smart, hardworking, heartthrob.

He got me... he got my heart. 

In an instant, I felt something different and it's not normal.

I know the books are fictional but I'm feeling the thing those books would say. 

I'm in love.

Of course, he didn't knew about it but he changed me.

I fixed myself 180 degrees.

I made myself pretty in his eyes. I even go along with the powder puff girls just to be 'in".

I guess I was a swan in the making.

Pretty but smart-ass.

And then one day, rumor has it that he's got a crush on me already.

Shocked. I really don't know how would I react.

Everyday we would go home together since we ride on the same bus. 

But I never imagined that he'll feel the same thing for me.

Or was it a joke?

Maybe some kid knew I was so into him that he made false rumors. Bitch.

Quiet, I should be. Don't lose my senses.

I was seated near the window, eating my leftover sandwich during recess while waiting for others to hop in our school bus during dismissal until he came and sat beside me.

Panicked. I looked around the bus. It was pretty spacious for me. A lot of vacant seats are available, why here?

I gave my weirded out look to him. When I was about to say hi, he interrupted me by saying..

"Hello weirdo!". Geezer, he still remembered.

We became friends, close friends indeed.

He told me stories of him receiving awards during his art contest last season, how he managed to win the spelling quiz bee that I should be joining that too, how he lead his basketball team during our last Intramural that I should be joining the volleyball team to break every piece of my bone, how he got into Top 1 while I manage to be only in Top 7 of our class. He even tells stories about every members of his family that he told me it would be cool to meet them someday. 

I felt the same way too.

We were close, so close that I could actually feel the same thing I feel for him.

Yet we had no guts to say how we feel for one another.

Young hearts.

But I love him. Martyred enough to remain silent.

Some kids would fall for me, actually court me then. Because I was pretty now, not the dorky type before.

But I'm waiting for someone. I wanted him.

But it never came. We're just friends, forever.

High School came.

 We matured. We met a lot of people. We liked a couple or so of them.

We changed.

It wasn't much like of that before. We don't talk anymore, too scared with each other.

And I don't know why we became like that. So silent. Yet I still love him.

Until graduation day, we talked briefly.

"Hey weirdo! Graduation!"

"Yeah! Graduation finally!"

"You know what, I'm glad we've met. You're an awesome friend. I'll remember you always!"

Friend. Ha!

 "Yeah, me too. I'll miss those days. You're pretty awesome and annoying too!"

"I know ha ha! But you know what, if I could bring back the time when we're still close, I would. That was the best memories I had with you. I always look forward seeing you during dismissal. I always wanted to be with you then. I liked you..."

"Huh?"

"You're awesome Jo, I know you'll be a great person someday! When you run for president of the country, don't count my vote on you! See you later! Bye!"

"Wait, what---"

He ran away.

Many things have changed.

We don't talk anymore, even in Facebook.

He's pretty happy now where he is, with his girlfriend.

I'm very happy too that I found a new love with my boyfriend now.

Now I know this time, my love wouldn't be one-sided.

My boyfriend offered me something no man has ever given me...true love.

I'm very happy where I am now, I guess he must be happy for me too.

Oh by the way, first love DIES.

"Forgive me love, but I'm tired.I need to get away to feel again.Try to understand why, don't get so close to change my mind.Please wipe that look out of your eyes, it's bribing me to doubt myself." 

First Love - Adele

At dahil may bagong red lipstick ako...

Revlon Colorburst!

Bitch time.

Psych Central

Ginaya ko lang post ni John :)

Aesthetic

You appreciate art, beauty, and design; you know that they are not superficial but absolutely crucial to living the good life. You have good taste, and you're proud of it. Those with a high score on the "aesthetic" trait are often employed in literary or artistic professions, enjoy domestic activities — doing things around the house — and are enthusiastic about the arts, reading, and travel.You don't think it's pretentious to be moved by art and beauty. You're not one of those who believe it doesn't matter what something looks like as long as it does its job.

Original

You are constantly coming up with new ideas. For you, the world as it exists is just a jumping-off place; what's going on inside your mind is often more interesting than what's going on outside.You don't feel that the road to success is to be a realist and stick to the program; you never stop yourself from coming up with new ideas or telling the world what you're thinking about.

Passionate

You are in touch with your emotions, and sometimes you react before you think. The good news: you don't tamp down your feelings. The bad news: you sometimes say or do things that you later wish you could take back.You do not live your life on an even keel; you do not go for long periods without experiencing some mood swings.

Assertive

You behave in a confident and forceful manner, take charge of the situation, raise your hand in class, stand up for what you think is right, and lead others. Among those who have a high score on the "assertive" trait, many have jobs in which they are valued for their organizational skills as well as their talent for supervising others.You are not interested in fading into the woodwork, leaving everything to fate, taking more time than necessary to accomplish a task, or avoiding confrontation.

Innovative

You come up with a lot of ideas; if one doesn't work out, there's always another waiting in the wings. You often have interesting solutions to difficult problems. You're practically a one-person brainstorming session.You are less interested changing the world than in dealing with things as they are. Unlike those who spend all their time trying to solve problems, you prefer to zero in on things that work and stick with them.

Accessible

You're comfortable expressing yourself in words and actions, with no self-censorship. You believe that if someone doesn't like what they see it's not your problem, but theirs. A high score on the "accessible" trait suggests that you have a lot of friends, socialize often, and enjoy rap/hip-hop music.You don't see the need to keep your thoughts to yourself, or to have a zone of privacy that encompasses only yourself and a small circle of friends and relatives.

Tender

You are gentle with others, both physically and emotionally. You are careful not to upset people and go out of your way to find the nicest way to say something. You naturally focus on the fact that the world is full of wonderful people, places, and things. More often than not, people with a high score on the "tender" trait enjoy spending time with children, love romantic movies, and are enthusiastic about making the world a better place.You don't think of yourself as tough-minded or gruff, nor do you need to be seen as some kind of objective source of truth and rationality.

Optimistic

You are a "glass half-full" kind of person, always on the lookout for the silver lining. Your happiness is contagious, which is why others like to be around you.You do not feel that the world is an intrinsically depressing place; you are not the kind of "realist" who thinks that only fools find joy in life.

Creative

You are good at solving problems, coming up with original ideas, and seeing connections between things, connections that most other people miss. People with a high score on the "creative" trait often are employed in such fields as finance and scientific research, and enjoy avant garde and classical music as well as literary fiction and scholarly non-fiction.You do not shun abstractions and concepts in favor of the concrete and tangible.

Intellectual

You are thoughtful, rational, and comfortable in the world of ideas. People find you interesting to talk to. You're the living embodiment of the saying "You learn something new every day." In general, those with a high score on the "intellectual" trait are employed in such fields as teaching and research, and are enthusiastic about reading, foreign films, and classical music.You do not avoid abstract conversation, experimenting with new ideas, or studying new things. It bores you to stick to the straight and narrow of what you already know.

Me.

is an

Ailurophile.