Saturday, August 13, 2011

First Love

Do you still remember your first love?
I do.
Let me share the story of my First Love :)

This feeling started when I was still in my 5th grade, elementary days.
I am the nerdy, ugly-duckling student who believes in love at first sight.
I believe in fantasies, in magic, in love.
I don't even know how to primp myself. I don't even comb my hair. I don't even put makeup or powder
or put on colognes where girls my age usually does.
I'm just happy staying in my world... the solemn, blissful world of the library.
Sweet Valley High, Jane Austen's, Goosebumps, In the ear and out the other..some of my favorites.
Oh, even the encyclopedia too. 

My mom decided to have me drive-and-fetch via a school bus since my yaya left us already.
My parents then were busy with their work so they won't be able to drive me to school.
And so, that is where I met him.

It was awkward at first.
Back then, I was a late bloomer. 
I had an imaginary friend with me. No kidding. I'm dead serious.
Well, he caught me talking to my friend one day when we were alone at our school bus.
"Who are you talking with??!"
"Err, nothing..."
"You're weird!"

And that's when my friend left me. I'm normal now. Back to reality.
Yeah, that was pretty weird for me.
But, he talked to me..he dared.
He dared talked to one of the major class nerd in 5th grade.

He's the class president in one of the sections of our batch. 
Good looking, smart, hardworking, heartthrob.
He got me... he got my heart. 
In an instant, I felt something different and it's not normal.
I know the books are fictional but I'm feeling the thing those books would say. 
I'm in love.

Of course, he didn't knew about it but he changed me.
I fixed myself 180 degrees.
I made myself pretty in his eyes. I even go along with the powder puff girls just to be 'in".
I guess I was a swan in the making.
Pretty but smart-ass.
And then one day, rumor has it that he's got a crush on me already.
Shocked. I really don't know how would I react.
Everyday we would go home together since we ride on the same bus. 
But I never imagined that he'll feel the same thing for me.
Or was it a joke?
Maybe some kid knew I was so into him that he made false rumors. Bitch.
Quiet, I should be. Don't lose my senses.

I was seated near the window, eating my leftover sandwich during recess while waiting for others to hop in our school bus during dismissal until he came and sat beside me.
Panicked. I looked around the bus. It was pretty spacious for me. A lot of vacant seats are available, why here?
I gave my weirded out look to him. When I was about to say hi, he interrupted me by saying..
"Hello weirdo!". Geezer, he still remembered.

We became friends, close friends indeed.
He told me stories of him receiving awards during his art contest last season, how he managed to win the spelling quiz bee that I should be joining that too, how he lead his basketball team during our last Intramural that I should be joining the volleyball team to break every piece of my bone, how he got into Top 1 while I manage to be only in Top 7 of our class. He even tells stories about every members of his family that he told me it would be cool to meet them someday. 
I felt the same way too.
We were close, so close that I could actually feel the same thing I feel for him.
Yet we had no guts to say how we feel for one another.
Young hearts.
But I love him. Martyred enough to remain silent.

Some kids would fall for me, actually court me then. Because I was pretty now, not the dorky type before.
But I'm waiting for someone. I wanted him.
But it never came. We're just friends, forever.

High School came.
 We matured. We met a lot of people. We liked a couple or so of them.
We changed.
It wasn't much like of that before. We don't talk anymore, too scared with each other.
And I don't know why we became like that. So silent. Yet I still love him.
Until graduation day, we talked briefly.
"Hey weirdo! Graduation!"
"Yeah! Graduation finally!"
"You know what, I'm glad we've met. You're an awesome friend. I'll remember you always!"

Friend. Ha!

 "Yeah, me too. I'll miss those days. You're pretty awesome and annoying too!"
"I know ha ha! But you know what, if I could bring back the time when we're still close, I would. That was the best memories I had with you. I always look forward seeing you during dismissal. I always wanted to be with you then. I liked you..."
"You're awesome Jo, I know you'll be a great person someday! When you run for president of the country, don't count my vote on you! See you later! Bye!"
"Wait, what---"

He ran away.

Many things have changed.
We don't talk anymore, even in Facebook.
He's pretty happy now where he is, with his girlfriend.
I'm very happy too that I found a new love with my boyfriend now.
Now I know this time, my love wouldn't be one-sided.
My boyfriend offered me something no man has ever given me...true love.
I'm very happy where I am now, I guess he must be happy for me too.

Oh by the way, first love DIES.

"Forgive me love, but I'm tired.I need to get away to feel again.Try to understand why, don't get so close to change my mind.Please wipe that look out of your eyes, it's bribing me to doubt myself." 
First Love - Adele


  1. "First love never dies but true love buries it alive"

  2. @Bea: Well, my first love died hahaha

  3. Nerds would always be nerds. We just look better, but we're still nerds.

  4. @Bowser: I agree on that haha!


I appreciate all your comments!